Charybdis
chain is
link after link after
link
it’s a kind of meditation
sinking back into your body
my body sound
hell hound
it’s all around
where do you come from
run
so often these mixed meditations
so out of yourself
you don’t know why
you’re running
you can’t tell your therapist
what it is that triggers
detachment
outsideness
isolation from your mind
thought
goes to nothing goes to
thought
chased away by hounds
like they show in the movies
hell hound tear you to bits
shadowy behind you
in front of you
everywhere
double back solve a series of
puzzles
math class machinarium
but never just for fun
always with impending shadow of
failure
don’t slow down
don’t take a gap year
momentum
burn bright
like the candle with the cloth cover on fire
burn yourself into nothing
stone your wicked fears
following you room to room
Christian’s burden from Pilgrim’s Progress
white man’s burden from
history class
sometimes it sheds the most weight to
forget precepts exist
cling to each other in friendship
love
you with dark curly hair
stern frightened eyes
strong person not really driven by fear
your sister driven by loathing
of self?
others?
who cares running
is a horrible way to live
you cling to iron bars of tradition
like Odysseus to a tree branch
Charybdis of uncertainty
gnashing her
watery fangs
but what if you
let go
leave everything you know
sailing downwards toward the
ship’s splinters
maybe you would find among the
wreckage
Charybdis
your lost lover
separated by water but she
prepares you a room
the dogs have drowned and you
no longer feel the fear that
accompanied them
what’s that emptiness?
it’s gone
the metal bar turns into
a clinging laurel
water parts like for Moses
you see inscribed on the
watery walls
symbols trying to tell you something
water squeals and squeaks as though
in pain
back to the doll house you
go
wake up in the same bed you did
yesterday
tear at the walls but they reform like water
face to face with your
hounds
burden forsaken
trying to read something in
alien eyes – no soft cow or
prejudiced republican or
startled chicken or
adoring lover
just white
and you look around and
Charybdis comes to
reclaim you
