home

sometimes it feels

like everyone else

has a place they can go

where they feel safe

that they can call home

when summer gets here

annie will go to new jersey

where her mom will do

her laundry, get her food

talya will go to SoCal

where her parents will

make filipino food

she’ll play tennis with dad

catch up her brothers

on experiences and life

celeste will go to new york

where her little brothers

will squeeze her from 

both sides — a twin sandwich

her mom will ask her

weirdly about her sex life

her dad will get on her nerves

so they’ll talk it out

sometimes it feels

like that will never be mine

andy says a big part

of journeys is the home

so where is mine?

sometimes i feel

so fucked up

like even if things were perfect

with mom and dad

home is where i hurt myself

so bad i’m scared

to go back because

home is where i feel

afraid to be with myself

so home is unwelcoming

home is dirty doormats

home is eating dinner alone

home is the bathroom floor 

home hurts 

but sometimes it feels

like getting home

is the only way

i can really leave it behind

but home hurts so much

and sometimes it feels

like i don’t know

how find it again