misaligned fragments on emotional perturbance

what the hell is a good life

can’t i go wreck chaos instead?

at least that propels me forward 

we’re all kinda stagnant

music is moving but steady

you’re moving but steady

hookups in the dark park that don’t feel

like much but i wanted that illusion

that suggestion, lie of understanding

of intimacy 

…

do you notice how many prison doors 

line churches

think of the sound of music that’s how i picture

people in churches

cowering

lonely

clinging to the only people that love you

in the whole world

trying to protect them

but really

aren’t you more vulnerable than ever?

…

you’re my best friend and it was so hard

to tell if i liked you

cuz we connected so ultimately on the

human connection

level

but then there’s the

friendship level

romantic level

and somehow those all got jumbled up

everything is so tangled

because you’re my best friend

which is so hard cuz

last time i fell for my best friend

she hurt me

i broke up with her

she walked out of my life

no — ran

and i don’t want endings like that

i don’t want endings at all

not right now

but you hooked up with that boy on campus

i cried

i’ll probably hook up with someone too

everything feels kind of muted now

it’s okay it’s just

misaligned