neon smiles

in two days i go away

from here faded neon 

a grinning creon in 

the grocery window

medusa looking up

out of the toilet giggles

my cream cheesed bagel

i stayed up til 8am

for this breakfast i 

can’t eat i’m a mess

you said i looked good

in that dress you

couldn’t see past

the glitter on my face

i’ve been waiting all

day for your phonecall

that won’t say all 

or any what i need

it to because you

aren’t on the same line

this journey took me

or the line of coke in

the template bathroom

or the sweaty sheets

and blistered feet from

two hours walking

massage it in your gums

it’s real if they go numb

only enough for one bump

blowjob on blow

in the back i don’t

know how to get my

heart to stop beating

or why my breathing 

has stopped feeling real

and my lungs just feel

robotic on narcotics and

i want someone to sit here

and hold my hand while

i wait for the days to pass

like molasses or a 

blurry world without

glasses just two days

hold on soon you will

be gone and that

neon smile that creeps

behind you and riles

the gargoyle cats with

cocaine eyes that send

serotonin and lies to all

your brain receptors

til you can’t even cry

soon they will be quiet

soon you will be high again

or soon you will die

on the way up your mountain