Possessed

you were there.

you were there when I opened my eyes

but more when I closed them

when my leather shoes thudded on the carpet on the stairs

dressed like a 1920s stable boy cinderella 

you were wearing my shoes

can somebody help me get out of my head?

you said to my head

two heads trapped

in the back

of a black

subaru headed into bainbridge island

we missed the turn for the winery

and you helped me take shots of olive oil on dares

and then more shots to wash it down

you are that part of me that looks funny at the knives

you are that not part of me that cries

at the sad parts of movies

because you wish it was you

who died

and then, looking at the cheese platter

disgusted

holding hands

disgusted

you are the nausea I feel when good things happen

and you’re the one

I wish I left at home

under the bed, in my childhood, in that old man’s house

have you ever felt someone looking at you 

when you’re looking in the mirror

have you ever felt out of your body and sickened looking down

have you ever floated static in space waiting for someone to call