presently,
i’m falling presently
light steps on the crystal network
of puddle in the driveway
collapse a couple inches
or just keep falling
i miss falling about
not knowing where the
voice starts and stops
stumbling down the train
too high to the bathroom
by everyone asleep and
sort of blue
they look dead
i’m high on cocaine
in the bathroom it’s
hard to breathe the
train runs the air under
the tongue of its rails
so i step out of
the bathroom the
walls are linoleum
and i carve them with
my fingernails to print
footsteps up the stairs
back to my seat a
same bag different seat
same cloth feel all
its texture under
finger pads as i
fall asleep presently
jerk awake train stop
early morning still
dark too dark to
see the dirt on the
san francisco streets
breathe in dmt
cross the rail track
every tie for a mile
to get to the station
and feel them all
same blue seat same
smell of people and
night still high
breathe out all my
oxygen til i’m
bereft of air all
alone in there the
train seat decide i
may never breathe
again i might not
need it i might not
want it it’s a small
few moments before
i feel everything again
as it is but those
falling moments
dust on my shoes
staring slack-jawed
at california stars
then my mouth closes
my eyes drip glitter
i look at my feet
i don’t know where
i am a train bathroom
in louisiana new york
new mexico oregon
some guy’s bed in
san diego i’m just
somewhere between
falling and falling
—September 2021, Stanford, CA
