the video

don’t watch the video

don’t watch the video

not something you can unsee

not something you can hide

from that space behind your eyes

as you start to fall asleep

it’s kind of like a first-person shooter game — you know?

fortnite — people laughed at that — they shouldn’t have

it’s out on twitch i’m not sure what it is until

i’m seeing it all rip through

in the library at lunch crying

in the bathroom ten minutes later vomiting

contents of an empty stomach — letting go of

the antisemitism — and — racism — and — xenophobia 

that are seared  unwillingly branded on my bones —

your bones — our minds as the product of our cultural prison

if you close your eyes your lids go red with beating blood stilling

if you look on Facebook you see the synagogue shooting

and you ask yourself how, and if you’re part of

the problem part of the sadistic force of humanity that never skips a generation

and i go back to class — and people are laughing — existing — making stupid jokes

and inside i’m getting scared that tomorrow i’ll forget this happened too