unwilling foundation of capitalism

i press an existence partway between

half a dozen hot wires of identity

feet in the water

dazed by electric shocks —

we were walking through the city

sun hot on the back of a black shirt

jeans, hair, hot pressing skin

only half-hearing greek flow off her tongue

am i greek enough for your

mother’s eyes?

am i the blown out flame of the rocky tradition?

want to get out of the clothes

out of my head

lie naked on the marble floor

listen to your music

but are you a we and do we want me here at all?

red wired evangelical christians

uncle didn’t recognize me last christmas

shook my hand

introduced myself again

feels just about right

every time i walk into your line of sight

i need a new introduction

blue wires and pink wires in the stores

uncomfortable gazes on your back

feel small in button-up shirts

is this really xs?

shrinking into the floor of the dressing room

feet getting wetter eyes glassier

orange and yellow rejection rejection

harvard yale and oxford say no

you ask for a conversation you get a monologue

of straight white rich men parading

down the runway of history

but there is something so special about the rat and bird nests

threaded under your american capital house

as i’m trying not to melt into the foundations

i hold a beating fluttering bird to my chest

— it’s a song — it’s a poem — it’s

a beating heart

beating into the cold foundation

someday, 

strong enough to fly again

someday,

beat hard enough to start an earthquake

but for now just fires

between the wires

nestled with our feet in the mud