Waiting

in-between space

not

one

or the

other

hellish interim gathering dust

just want to move forward

can almost see out of reality

strobe lights on Halloween  you

between

street

and

door

listen to me even though my mind won’t

not quite Greek not quite American

not quite straight not quite gay

not quite male not quite female

not smart enough for early entrance

too smart for high school

or so everyone says

stuck in the middle

is this what it feels like

sleep paralysis I know

knowing doesn’t make me fear it less

don’t the philosophers say it should

but when you’re caught

between

life

and

death

how do you wake up into death

I feel myself out of my body

by the light switch

elucidate that figure I cannot see but know is there

in the dark

is this how we invent gods

I KNOW it’s there

but I don’t

but how could it not be

the me by the light flickers and

disappears

my twisted hand is on the wall

straight up

horror movie

elbow locked

head locked

eyes open and upward

that straining feeling I hate

your mind has woken up but your body hasn’t

between

sleeping

and

waking

every muscle tensed like before a sprint 

to burst from the bed

and wash all the shadows 

from the walls