day in the dorms

she wrestles her ex in the dorm next door

i wrestle my demons on the floor

he plays his music on the speakers

roommates with the vacuum cleaners and heaters

sucker punch the chemicals in my head

writing poetry on top of his bed

our ra asks if i’ve had na okay day

i’m too high to even wave

my heart skips another beat

it’s getting again too hard to breathe

i wake up and it’s tuesday

find i don’t even have words to say

i looked back at my poems that week

i wrote my will the day after he roofied me

i can’t wear those clothes since then

i have them still don’t know what to do with them

i can write things but my hand shakes the pen

he left me with a nightmare and an addiction

you can’t wake up to another loud sound

your opiate blood sticks to the door pound

al that works is the one vibration

every morning i wake thinking it’s the train station

it’s your music and i’m on your floor

and that’s the devil knock knock knockin on your door

—November 2021, Stanford, CA