identity in fabric

making my own clothes

patching together with bleach

and safety pins

and other things we use

to hurt ourselves

…

grandma’s dresses

matching tights

every christmas

she’s dead now

…

gc2b binder

scared and sixteen

difficulty breathing

…

button-ups and tweed

to be taken seriously

long sleeves to hide scars

…

many layers to hide chest

from men during sex

femme colors, light pink

eighteen years old

and terrified of violence

…

pockets for stealing

learning to lie

dressing up for dealer

to get more pills

…

hospital pajamas

light blue and soft

feels safe and unreal

everyone dress the same

…

green pants with

the chemical structures

of twenty drugs

add the new ones

confused mess of colors

…

all black, loose and 

borrowed from my partner

shadow of myself

shadow of people around me

…

naked and barefoot

tired of hiding

all the scars on the table

…

sheer coats and neon graffiti

all safety pinned together

all the pieces of <me>

and the identity that i built.

—july 2022, oakland, ca