insomnia

the black linen sheets have black sweat smudges

5- and 6-times-used coffee cups collect

strata of gummy grinds at their bottoms

vape coils burn and make you choke and cough

notebooks have lines erased or crossed out

empty foils of modafinil and prescription

bottles reused for doing shots of mezcal

sleepless nights staring at screens and ceilings

day again. body weak, thoughts racing to complete

each other. muscles ache like from alcohol.

mind foggy. hungry but not enough to chew.

world in slow motion. mind at 2x speed. 

laundry cycle. sheets, unused again.

dishwasher can’t get the stains off the cups.

only fresh coffee erodes them slowly.

coughing. eyes closed a moment. awake.

—july 2022, oakland, ca