mug on my nightstand

ceramic with the bareness of skin

breasts and hard love at night, again

fill and empty and fill and empty

of stains strata on the hollows of

your hands too stiff to feel me breathing

overdosed on teas too symmetric

too distorted after nights spent

drinking i look at your body, changed

drink you like bourbon or coffee

each in the morning and ruining my day

ceramic skin with no face

looking at my bare skin and lace

underwear and whoever i bring home

see in darkness under no lamp

the scent of an illicit candle

the plastic bags and white lines

and window panes you through 

a window are distorted

your strata of drunken green tea

turmeric tea instant coffee vodka

cranberry whisky half retained

half vomited with the water

you watching me fall into bed

half naked or dress myself halfway

and half lucid go out into the world

you, naked filled with cold coffee

i drink and then sleep at 6am

you who my parents scorn and 

professors laugh at you

something beautiful and full but

soon as empty as my mind

—October 2021, Santa Cruz, CA